#BEEBEEP AUTOMATIC AWAY HOW TO#

Every restaurant you go to in America, you just make it rain napkins every day.Īmazon Prime every day. Just breaking the laws of reality… with the abundance. Yeah, in America you throw away more napkins than you took. Right? You order anything to eat at any restaurant, they give you 50 napkins.

#BEEBEEP AUTOMATIC AWAY HOW TO#

So when I look down and I look up, I don’t miss any of the action in this Game of Thrones episode that cost $30 million, but for some reason, we couldn’t figure out how to adjust the contrast, and so everything is dark as fuck! I need a screen below my eyes and a screen above my eyes.

Just maybe…Īs many screens in a row as I can get in front of my face. It’s like, iPhone, iPad, laptop, TV… …and an Apple Watch. Every night in America is like a competition to see how many screens we can get between our face and the wall. The most screens per capita in the world. We get the iPhone 8, and we’re like, “You know what? Fuck 8 and fuck 9. Hyperloops, electric cars, SpaceX, robot vacuums, iPhone 8s and 10s at the same time. It’s hard to see if you’ve been born and raised here, but when you come from somewhere else, it’s so obvious the abundance in this country. Yeah! Uh, yeah, I’ve been living in America for a while now. The secondhand stupidity’s a real killer. Internet designated zones 50 feet from every entrance. Yeah, in 50 years, we’re gonna have special areas outside buildings where you can use the internet. We’d use the internet in front of babies. “What were we thinking? Pregnant people were just using the internet. It’s going to be like, “Man, I can’t believe 50 years ago, we just let pregnant people use the internet.” Like, in 50 years, we’re gonna look at the internet the same way we look at smoking right now. Whoo! Like, who knew all of human knowledge can make people dumber? Yo, the internet is making people so fucking stupid. Reading some bullshit on the internet, getting brainwashed, not vaccinating their children. It’s time to bring back organic, small-batch diseases.īecause of all these stupid anti-vaccination idiots. Every year, America becomes more and more hipster. Why not? Why not at this point? How much worse can it get? Let’s bring back measles. What’s going on in America in 2019? Uh… Measles is coming back, right? Bringing back measles.

Netflix says we’re losing viewers by the second. We gotta get going! We gotta get going, guys! Thank you! Thank you.

Beebeep automatic away